Ariana. Nineteen. Chicago. Dancer. Dreamer


Daniela De Jesus by Benjamin Kanarek for Elle Vietnam October 2014

And then the other shitty part of it all is that i cant take ibuprofen to relieve the pain im having.

i cant believe ill have to do so, but i think ill buy a pregnancy test tomorrow. im on the pill, and everything, but i want to at least rule out a factor. im hoping that the cramping im feeling right now is of me ovulating. i dont ever ovulate at this point in my cycle though. i definitely shouldnt nor can’t be pregnant. the last time i had sex was over a month ago. i was on the pill. he pulled out just as usual. we did nothing different from what we normally do. but my body didnt start acting crazy until a week after we had sex. but at the same that, that was also when i went into crazy, depressed, sad, stressed out mode.

i really dont have that many signs of pregnancy. i dont have morning sickness, nor do i have any weird cravings. i havent gained any weight out of the ordinary, and i havent felt fatigue. i also havent been urinating a lot. im not nauseous. at this point, its just that i have cramps, and my body just feels fucking weird to me. last month, i spotted (heavily and painfully the first 2 days) for like 7-9 days. then i got my period when i was supposed to. but i only had it for maybe 3-4 days, and it was just really light spotting. ive been on the pill for a few months and this is the first time my body has been acting crazy. and this whole thing is just stressing me out even more. thus making everything wayyyyy worse. im so angry. its too late for this.

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see now i have cramps, and i feel bloated… but im not due for my period till like 3 weeks. whatt the fuck is going on

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Delphine making looks for our look book shoot @delphinedanhier 👌MNZ SS15 by maryam_nassir_zadeh

something is wrong with me and i just cant figure out what it is. i cant concentrate on anything because i can’t figure out what it is. i should go see a doctor but ya know… i dont want my mom all in my business. nor do i want to waste the time of the doctor. also because im thinking that its all stress related, and im being extra paranoid. i dont fucking know yall. im so upset and confused

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